"HOW TO HAVE A BABY: THE GREAT SURVEY"

I came across this wonderful blog entry (via Candice...thanks, Candice!). The blog entry is titled: "How To Have a Baby: The Great Survey" and it was a very cute, informative read! :-)

So, instead of recapping everything she posted in her blog, I have copied it below:

"Mike & I went to an infant CPR course last night at Roosevelt Hospital. We both now feel confident enough to provide CPR & rescue breathing should Baby Boy ever require our help (fingers crossed that he doesn't), although the choking portion of the class was a little scary in that our instructor Eduardo kept referring to the hits on the back as blows. That sounds more like an aggressive beating vs. trying to dislodge a piece of candy. Anyway. This Saturday, we have a class on Infant Care & Feeding. Next weekend - all weekend! - we have a Labor & Delivery course. I'm sure we'll get a lot of good information & hopefully feel a teensy (tiny) bit more prepared about what is to come.

But still.

The questions! I have so many questions about this baby business! I understand I'm maybe a tiny bit obsessive about it all, but that's the way I am. What do I need? What do I need to do? What do I need to buy? Which is better? What is worth it vs. a total waste? My friends & sisters are all-too familiar with these questions, as I've been pestering them for months with endless emails, texts & panicked phone calls from Target. I think there's a special spot in Heaven for these girls, because I've felt like a really high-maintenance friend as of late. I'm sure that's not ending any time soon.

Last week - amid a few days of high anxiety & sudden panic as I realized September is getting closer & closer - I put together a little (large.) survey thanks to Google & emailed it to, oh, 40 of my closest friends. And get this - I had over 30 people respond. 34, to be exact!! Initially, that made me want to crawl into a dark hole & not come out for a very long time - because advice from 34 people is a little overwhelming, & it's all just sort of complicated & hard to digest - but then I felt this warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart because all of these women were so willing to help me & offer their advice from their own experience. It was wonderful, & so kind of them to do, & I love them for that. I really do. So - if you participated, thank you.

Lots of people asked if I'd share the results. So - here they are, all varieties of them, in edited & condensed form (because my original document was 36 pages long, & many people shared things that aren't for the www or for mass distribution of the actual document).

Feel free to add your two cents in the comments.

Is there anything out of the ordinary that I should pack in my hospital bag?
chap stick & jolly ranchers * a great robe (that isn’t white) * few snacks or favorite things to eat (fruit, nuts, crackers, etc) * something comfortable to wear home that will still fit a body that looks 6 months pregnant. Something new = even better (you’ll be sick of maternity clothes) * Boppy pillow * a few things for the hubby to do * I brought my robe, & wore it over my hospital gown * if you have your baby in the middle of the night they usually won't bring you anything to eat until the morning & you probably aren't going to feel like a huge takeout meal. Bring fruit / nuts / crackers etc * breast pads for when your milk comes in + lansinoh + nursing bra * slippers * anything that makes you feel better, like a nice lotion, makeup * socks * something to go over your hospital gown for when people stop by * your own pillow * in NYC, less is more (keep in mind you’re taking a cab + a baby home) * hard candy to suck on during labor * a good book or magazine * iPod + playlist * comfortable cotton underwear * easily forgotten – cell phone charger!

Any Gems of Advice for Labor / Delivery?
read a great birth book. "Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Newborn” * epidural as soon as possible?! Its pretty fun once you aren't in any pain * never let the Doctor or nurse strong arm you into doing anything you are not comfortable with * if you are not getting along with your nurse, ask for another one * be in tune with your body & remember you aren't the first one, nor are you the last to do this * you are a strong, beautiful woman & YOU CAN DO THIS * lean on Mike. You’re not in this alone, even though it’s a very singular experience * keep your mind on the baby coming soon. It’s your fairy dust thought that will get you through * EPIDURAL * positive thoughts! * as much as you are able, relax & memorize the feelings of anticipation & excitement of baby's arrival. Those first hours after the baby is born are so incredible! * don’t listen to anyone. everyone is different * know it will be over soon * don't have any expectations of it to be a certain way. There is no right or wrong way to do it * get an epidural if you want one – they are lovely * being induced or even having a c-section are not the worst thing in the world * be patient – that first moment is so worth the wait * "Inhale one... two... three... exhale one... two... three!” Just breathe * you are about to do one of the most important & memorable things you will ever do in this lifetime. The more relaxed & calm you are the more you will be in control of the situation & pain * after my son was born I had them set him on my chest immediately. Skin on skin & then my husband cut the umbilical cord while he was laying on me. It was so amazing * I got an epidural when I was at a 9 & it was the most heaven sent & wonderful thing ever. There is a reason we have modern medicine * do whatever you are comfortable with, everyone is different * when you are pushing during a contraction, keep your body relaxed, & don't tense up. The contractions help get the baby out, so if you tense up, it makes it harder * don't try to be Super Woman. Get an epidural!! * are you having an epidural or are you going au natural? My response depends largely on the answer, because had 6 natural births * learn how to breath as calmly & regularly as possible. Those slow, deep, regular breaths saved my bacon & gave me something to concentrate on when things went crazy * breathe through your contractions! Stay calm, think positive thoughts. Tell yourself that you can do it. Empower yourself. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, it will make it harder. Don't be afraid, you can do it * be open-minded about delivery - you are not a failure if you need a cesarean, or if you need forceps or suction if the baby is having a hard time 'exiting'. Do not beat yourself up if your actual delivery is not what you planned. It is all about you and the health of your baby * choose some calming music to play * get a blessing a few days before you are due, & a blessing a few days after you have had the baby. Write down the counsel you are given & refer to it often. You will receive a strength you need for both times. * nurses will make or break your experience. I will pray for you to have great ones * when you think you can't do it any longer, it miraculously happens & oh my gosh, remember that moment because I still get tears in my eyes when I think about both of them

Words of Advice for My Hospital Stay?
sleep as much as you can and ask the nurses a lot of questions, even if you think they're stupid questions * stay as long as possible & let your baby sleep in the nursery so you can actually get some sleep * don’t expect the post partum nurses to help you at all. Don't feel bad if you want the baby to sleep in the nursery over night * don't get hung up on what the Nazi lactation specialists tell you, they are seriously all crazy * don't be discouraged if you feel absolutely awful right after delivery * enjoy your private time with the baby before you step out into the big busy world with commotion, visitors, etc. * take it SLOW & easy * even if you're feeling great, keep it at about 40% of what you feel up to * drink lots of water * let the baby keep trying to eat (if you're nursing) as often as you can. He will figure it out much faster if given the opportunity often * kegels! It helps you feel better faster & you'll be walking comfortably much faster * the first day is very uncomfortable & very messy. Tell Mike to take good care of you, because the nurses may or may not ignore you * I soaked in a warm bath the day after I had him for about 10 minutes. I swear it helped stop my bleeding & helped me to have a quicker recovery * get up & walk around. Don't over do it, but it will make you feel better to take a little 5-10 minute walk around the hospital & stretch! * take as much as you can from the hospital – diapers, wipes, nipple cream, those oh so sexy mesh panties, pads, & creams for down there * drink a ton of water * keep visitors to a minimum * enjoy that first shower!! * get lost in the face of your baby * don't let the midwives give you a hard time about breast-feeding - it is hard!! It takes a while for you and the baby to get it! * if they offer pain meds, take them and then stay on top of them until they run out * don't try to be super women, just take the damn pain meds, & your baby will be just fine * take a shower as soon as you're wanting one, even if it means sitting down on a chair & having your husband watch to make sure you don't faint, & then you can blow dry your hair while sitting in the bed

Any clothing / personal items I should have for myself upon coming home from the hospital?
you'll wear your 1st set of maternity clothes for a while * a comfy pair of pants * something that will fit & you feel cute in * don't be disappointed that you still look pregnant * preparation H - they are bigger wipes than tucks * prunes or prune juice * a few of those extra bottles to squirt yourself with warm water down there postpartum for the first few weeks while everything is healing * very loose fitting clothes which button down the front if you are nursing * lots of comfy clothes, pads * my doctor told me to get the stool softener & take that for a few days * good nursing tanks * I liked having a sports type nursing bra for the first while & to wear to bed at night * Depends * giant pads that look like pillows * lots of Advil! * Gap had super soft nursing pajamas & they were a must have for me! * stool softeners (Ducolax) * something comfortable because you will have stitches in places you never imagined & walking is already not the best * hang on to that squirt bottle they give you. Use at home. Makes it so much more pleasant to go to the bathroom * I really loved my nursing tanks. I just wandered around all day in them for the first week, & you can always throw a cardigan over them when you have visitors * comfy, comfy clothes! But things that make you feel good about yourself * happy things. You will be horrified at your stomach at first - if you can clothe yourself in things that make you feel good, you will feel less shocked!! * get yourself your favorite bath lotion & soak in the tub a few times, too (let Mike take care of the baby) - it feels so nice * comfortable clothes (I got a few things at Body Gap) * there is nothing better than that first shower, & a little bit of make up * I liked to use the mesh panties they give you at the hospital to secure the pad in place. It keeps it the pad in place & you don't have to worry about soiling your own panties * buy the pads you like. The hospital gives you bulky, itchy, non-name brand ones. * mild bath soak (they tell you not too but it helped SO much with my recovery). I love Origins * Lots of water bottles from which to drink your weight in water from. I was always thirsty & there was never enough chilled water * new nursing bras & sleep/lounge wear. You'll want to burn it all after a few weeks of living in it 24 hours a day, but it'll be nice to have a few sets of new stuff when you come home

What’s the best advice that you pulled from your favorite sleep book?
never wake a sleeping baby * sleep when he sleeps!!! Really, don't do the dishes or laundry - sleep! * relax. Don't freak if your baby isn't sleeping a lot right away. He will eventually sleep, I promise * you'll probably get so many different opinions about this topic - just remember you & your baby are unique & what works for you is what is best * everything in Dr. Weiss’ Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child is sound medical 'advice' I recommend to my patients. It provides you with a framework since it gives a foundation of sleep physiology. From there you can decide how you want to approach sleep in your child * just remember, babies don't 'need' a lot of things - but they do actually need good quality and quantity sleep * pick a philosophy which seems to work for you and stick with it, being very consistent * never listen to advice from someone who hasn't had children * once the baby is 6-8 weeks, start putting him to bed earlier (7 or 8 pm) & try to get him to take regular naps (before that, his whole schedule will be very irregular) * the more sleep a baby gets during the day & the earlier they go to sleep at night, the more likely they are to sleep through the night * if it works for you, then go with it * babies shouldn't be up for longer than two hours at a time. If you wait until two hours hit, they have a harder time going to sleep * start the routine 30 minutes beforehand * establish your own routine & stick to it. * eat / play / sleep (in that order). Helps them learn how to fall asleep on their own & will make it much easier for you as they get older & you put them down for naps/bedtime * try not to nurse your baby to sleep; he will depend on it * put him down drowsy, not totally awake or totally asleep * after 4 months or so, don't be afraid to let him cry a little * every baby is different so what worked for us may not work for you. You are his mom, & you will know what is best for him! * my doctor told me at 8-10 weeks they are big enough to sleep through the night, so that is when we started this routine: Be consistent – feed at 6 & 8pm. At 9:30 give him a bath & get him ready for bed. Feed him formula for his last feeding at 10pm (it sits heavier in their tummies & takes longer to digest, so it keeps them full through the night). Lay him down & let him cry until he falls asleep. Let him cry if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Wake him at 5am to feed him. A couple weeks of doing that we moved his bedtime to 9pm then to 8pm and he will eventually start sleeping longer on his own. Our son now sleeps from 7:30pm to 7:30am & it is wonderful. My husband & I love to have that time together at night! * SWADDLE!!! Babies love and need the swaddle to help them sleep * I really loved Baby Wise. I totally believe that babies have to learn to fall asleep * the 5 S's - swaddling, shushing, side, sucking, swinging * don't let your newborn stay up for more than 2 hours!! Always, always begin the wind-down routine before the 2 hour mark and he/she will take a nap. (Also, dark room and noise machine) * Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child...Highly recommended! * it’s okay for babies to cry to sleep * I liked knowing (from my pediatrician) how long the baby can go between feedings. Other than waking to feed them if it was necessary, I let my newborns sleep * the one big sleep books advice that I like & took: don't create sleep dependence (rocking to sleep, cuddling to sleep, sleeping with mom/dad to fall asleep, noise makers, etc.). When it seems like those help, it's pretty miserable when they're suddenly not possible (traveling) & baby doesn't know what to do * the more they sleep, the more they sleep * get on a schedule as soon as possible, it will make your life so much more manageable

How Many Diapers will I go through each week?
70 – 10/day when newborns * grab as many newborn diapers from the hospital as you can, then just buy size 1 - you'll definitely use the LARGE box * lots in the beginning - be prepared for wondrous blow-outs * as you are having a boy, be prepared for being sprayed during changing time * for newborns: one per feeding (every 2-3 hours?)+ a couple of extras each day * a lot. But maybe not as many as you think. Or maybe more. I can't remember

What’s your favorite brand of diapers / wipes? Where do you buy them / order them from?
Huggies. Their newborn size is "U" shaped around the tummy so it doesn't rub on his umbilical cord * The Kirkland brand at Costco is very similar to Huggies * Pampers all the way * Huggies are fine for when they are older but newborn poop leaks right out the top & sides - they absorb nothing * we buy everything from diapers.com * started with Costco wipes from the beginning & never a problem with rash. We use them for everything including my own arse. I know, TMI * Pampers swaddlers are my favorite for the first few months, especially because they have a little yellow line down the center & when the baby goes pee the line turns blue so you know that you need to change it * Costco wipes * Pampers Cruisers for when they’re older * I think the Huggies at Costco are gross. (they felt damp from the outside. ew) * I have ordered them from diapers.com for quick delivery, but Amazon is better priced * my girls both have sensitive skin so I do the Pampers Sensitive wipes * I like Costco diapers the best for little boys after they're in size 2 (I've tried every possible kind and these NEVER leak) * be sure to have a stack of little wash cloths to avoid the potty spray when you're changing his diaper

What’s your favorite brand of diaper cream / baby wash / baby lotion?
Triple Paste! Get it * Cetaphil because it’s a thick cream & helps with my boy’s super sensitive dry skin * Johnson & Johnson baby wash * Triple Paste diaper cream * plain A&D ointment for any redness * Boudreaux's butt paste really works for diaper rash * Aveeno * California Baby products are by far my favorite for lotions & baby wash. They are not harsh & feel great, & keep my girl’s skin soft * Calendula cream from California Baby for eczema * Eucerin's Aquaphor works wonders on any other rash... particularly the ones they get on their face from slobber & such * Mustela. I love their lotion, hair & bodywash. My son never got baby acne, & it kept his skin moisturized all day & fresh looking. The smell is amazing * the lavender baby shampoo from Johnson & Johnson * babies don't really need lotion (it may make them smell good but their skin, generally, does not need moisturizing) * Method baby wash / shampoo * Aveeno baby lotion * Noodle & Boo baby lotion * Mrs. Meyers baby blossom * Baby Burts baby wash * Johnson & Johnson's shea & cocoa butter baby wash & lotion * ultra mild Cetaphil for the first several weeks

Any Essential Breastfeeding Needs?
Lansinoh ultra soft pads and cream * Madela breast pump!! * breast milk storage freezer bags * boppy pillow * lansinoh lanolin * Mustela. It’s not sticky and if you use it religiously you won't have problems * I used breast shells for the first few weeks when I was around the house and to sleep. I think it helped as my milk came in to keep me from getting engorged. I also think it helped to give me a good milk supply to start off since my daughter wasn't the best eater for those first few months * LILY PADZ!!!!!! The BEST nursing pads ever * While your milk is coming in you might want something more akin to a diaper! * Drink lots and lots of water. When you think you've had enough... drink more! It helps you to lose the weight too * the best cream is your own milk. Spread it on your nipples after you feed and let air dry * a good nursing bra

Did your baby use a swing, bouncer or lounger? Which was most effective?
No, much to my dismay. They liked being snuggled in the Moby wrap. Or strapped in the Ergo * both used a bouncer, but loved being in a swing * swing. heaven sent, but limit the time in the swing or night wakings / sleep disturbance can occur * vibrating bouncer * you want to do something for you, but the baby will want to be held. You definitely need something to keep little one occupied * we had a swing and I used the Boppy to prop her up when movement wasn't important. The swing was helpful but I wouldn't say that it is a necessity * we never used the swing, & didn't have a bouncer, but I loved the lounger, as it was nice to have some place to put him that wasn't on a couch or the floor on a blanket * so many of those things are gimmicky. I now wish I didn't have them. They are bulky & you use them but for only a few months * you don't know which your baby will like best until you try them * I liked the bouncer because it was most portable. I didn't get a swing until my daughter was born & she didn't love it, but it was nice for the first few weeks. If I had to choose, I would say bouncer * he loved his swing. It saved me during the day, I could put him in it & shower & get some things done around the house * I never purchased a bouncer or a swing. I did buy a lounger but neither of my kids have liked it * bouncer for sure. Swing a little. I think it is really what they get used too * 1st baby loved the swing, hated the bouncy chair. 2nd baby HATED the swing, didn't mind the bouncy chair. It all depends on the baby... I might suggest borrowing a swing. That way you can use it & then give it back. Nothing worse than buying a baby item off of someone else's recommendation (because it worked for their kid) & your child wants nothing to do with it * we limited the baby paraphernalia for lack of space. We used a blanket & the floor, & the car seat

Urban Dwellers: Favorite Items for City?
get an amazing stroller, of course * cup holder on your stroller * wind cover for the stroller * a great carrier * Ergo * Aden & Anais muslim blankets to drape over strollers in the summer, swaddle the baby in, etc. They are really light-weight & breathable & keep the baby from getting sunburned (since you can't use sunscreen until they are 6 months) * Baby Bjorn, Ele-tent, Bugaboo * car seat adapter for the Bugaboo * my skip-hop diaper changer. I could take that & stick my CC & metro card in it if we were going on a quick trip. I loved it & still use it daily * pacifier wipes (to disinfect anything & everything that falls on the ground, gets -gnawed on by another little one, etc) * the stroller sleeping bags things for the winter / cold autumn / spring days * hands down the Bugaboo * my lightweight Maclaren stroller. Light enough to carry up & down subway stairs, compact enough to fold up on buses, & a durable work horse for getting around town * white noise machine

What is your favorite brand of pacifier?
I got thumbs suckers * Soothie when they are newborn, & then Nuk * Avent * Mam * Gumpdrop * Playex natural latch drop in bottle nipples are closest to breastfeeding * Avent. But don't buy the clear ones, they blend in with everything & you'll never find them. They are like invisible

Where do you shop? Favorite source for baby things (online or in store)?
Target * Amazon & Diapers.com * Albee Baby * Planet Kids on 84th & 2nd * Target * Buy Buy Baby * Baby Gap * Ralph Lauren * Land of Nod * Giggle * OliveJuice * Etsy * Olie Bollen * Whole Foods * Fawn & Forrest * Modernnursery.com * Mini Social * Mini Boden

Babies poop / spit up / etc. a lot! What’s the best stain removing trick for Baby’s clothes?
Oxyclean * Dreft * Wash out stained clothes immediately after staining instead of waiting until you actually do laundry *OxySpray * I always have my son wear a white onesie under his outfits, so if he does have a blowout it usually just gets on his onesie & then I just bleach it out * always keep a zip lock bag with a clean outfit in your diaper bag, it will save you one day * Grandma's Secret Spot Remover... sold at Buy Buy Baby. Takes out stains of ALL kinds... amazing!! * Rinse poopie with warm/hot water * the trash. At least the onsies

Anything you ended up having way too much of?
baby weight * blankets * blankets * more blankets! * clothes * you get a ton of clothes (easy & so fun to buy as gifts). Return what you can (even if it's store credit & even if it's super, super cute). Or exchange for larger sizes so he can wear it next year. You'll be wishing for more clothes later on, especially since they grow so dang fast. One day it fits, the next week it will be too small * bottles: I only needed a few * 0-3 month clothes. They grow out of them SO quickly * with my first son, visitors in the hospital. I was riding a manic high & didn't get enough sleep in the hospital. A few days after delivery, I crashed & went into a postpartum depression lasting about 9 months. My lack of sleep in the hospital did not help! * baby clothes in general. We were given a ton, & I remember one day opening her cupboard & feeling physically sick at how much stuff we had * newborn sized diapers * newborn to 3 month old shoes * small sizes of "real outfits." Both of my kids lived in onesies for the first three months. They really didn't start wearing "outfits" until around 6-9 months

Anything you didn’t have nearly enough of?
Sleep * sleep * sleep * you can't have enough burp cloths. The cloth diapers work the best. They are soft and absorb easily * onesies, diapers, burp cloths * you go through breast pads fast * baby pajamas that are open at the bottom (with an elastic around the bottom) so you don't have to do a lot of snaps in the middle of the night but can just pull it up for a diaper change * Milocyn drops, Desitin or Butt Paste * You can never have too many sleep things / soft comfy clothes for the early months * crib sheets – three would have been nice * baby Tylenol for them at all times * Pads! Like the HUGE kind you put in your underwear. I thought I had stocked up enough but I ran out and had to go buy some. I bled for a full month though with both of my kids, but it may be less for you (I think most people it is around a 2-3 weeks) * diapers! You think you have so many, but you don't. You will be buying those more than anything else * onsies - you can never have too many. I prefer Carter brand to Gerber - can buy at diapers.com * get a handful of outfits for new, newborn. like 7 lbs. They don't fit into anything the first 2-3 weeks & it's not fun trying to fit the newborn into a too big of an outfit * binkies. Always have a stash if you're doing the binky * sleep * clean bras * sleep * sleep!!

Anything you bought but never used?
newborn clothes get very little use if you have a normal sized baby * toys * nose suction tool * baby shoes * jeans for baby. They are so fun to buy and receive because they are so cute and tiny, but so impractical because babies are meant to be comfortable & cuddle-able. Save the money, return any gifts & get them in larger sizes when they will really get some use * a bumbo seat * wait until you are in whatever stage you are in before you purchase what you think you need! You will figure it out better because you know your baby better * baby wipe warmer * you can't ask this with your first baby. Most of what you have you will never use, but it's your first baby, so you need to have it

What was your favorite splurge?
stroller * diaper bag * Trumpette socks. They are the only socks I could find that actually stay on my girls cute little feet! * I love my Tripp Trapp high chair * Kiehl’s baby lip balm * really good and fancy nursing bras from Boing Boing in Brooklyn * sound machine & my Summer brand video monitor. I cannot live without either * nice thermometer * Petit Bateau onesies / sleepsuits * stroller & car seat. Get the best. Totally worth it * a rocking chair * a gift of jewelry from hubby after baby arrives * good, natural baby lotions * getting a massage or pedi every few weeks. It's something to look forward to and make you feel like a human being instead of a zombie * Kate Quinn organics * Puj tub * Moncalin blanket * organic crib sheets * the Williams-Sonoma Beaba Cook (for when it comes time to feed baby boy solids) * a designer diaper bag & a high-end stroller. I know these are par for the course in the City, but they made me feel a little more stylish than the Winnie the Pooh diaper bag would have

What have been your favorite things for your baby’s 1st Year?
I can't remember, but writing all this down is making my ovaries hurt! Oh sweet tiny babes! They're the best * Boppy, velcro swaddle blankets * Baby Bjorn travel crib - it sets up in a second or two and only takes about one minute to fold up into its carrying case * Born Free bottles were great * Ikea for fun, inexpensive, well designed baby items * Aiden & Anais blankets * Skip hop diaper changer * video monitor * sunhats * my nice stroller * rattle toy that could attach to swing, stroller & carseat * glass bottles * warm Eskimo bunting * JJ Cole carseat Bundle Me * sleeping bag for the stroller * Robeez Crib Shoes are wonderful because they are soft and they stay on little baby feet * the Bumbo * sleep gowns * a good swaddling blanket * Stokke stroller * Mobdy wrap * carrier * Kina booties * Mini Boden socks (they fit even better than Trumpette for us) * Zutano beanies (fit little heads the best) * Bla Bla mobile * good music

What should I do before Baby Boy arrives in September?
sleep! * relax! * get excited! * I made freezer meals before & loved that I had something in the freezer for crazy days, but take-out is good, too * party. sleep in. sleep. Nap * go out to eat *movies * just realize & appreciate how easy it is to run errands, go out to eat, do anything without a schedule * relax & enjoy * prunes, & don't eat a crap load of carbs like I did after delivery - first poop sucks * rest up, enjoy the hubby, & get excited! The best is yet to come! * find a good pediatrician * get your nails done * do as much for you as possible, or any outstanding projects that you've been wanting to get done forever but haven't done yet. After baby comes everything kind of gets thrown out the window (including cleaning) * sleep * date nights! * go places you can't take a baby. Things suddenly become very expensive when you are paying for a babysitter on top of everything else * don't take your boobs for granted! They are nice and perky & not sore! They will never look the same, & they shrink & sag when you are done breastfeeding. Be so grateful for them & enjoy not sleeping in a bra * go get a mani / pedi right before you have him. You will want something to make you feel cute after you have him * sleep in as often (or late) as you want... you won't be able to do that... dare I say, ever again? * enjoy the nesting that happens * do every self-indulgent, out-on the town type activity you can * read the sleep books & baby books now, otherwise they won't get read. Highlight or dog-ear the parts you think you'll likely want to refer back to AFTER baby is born & if you're in crisis (or sleep-deprived) mode * see movies * go to nice restaurants * I would say clean your house, but that was the last thing I felt like doing when I was pregnant!! Hire someone to clean your house!! * stock up your freezer with frozen meals * go out with Mike lots! * go to the temple * buy thank you cards * stock up on several sizes of diapers (they disappear quickly) * get a can of formula, just in case

Any final words of advice?
3 months is the best. Just give it 3 months * don't take advice. You'll figure it out * everyone is different and what works for some doesn't always work for other (duh - life lesson, right?) * have lots of play dates. Your mommy network will be great for you * kids are difficult for everyone at many different stages. If you are having a very difficult time at first, take solace that things will only get easier for you * if you spend the first few months crying a lot, you are definitely not alone. Don't fret that those who haven't experienced postpartum don't understand * if your depression lasts you nine months, you are also not alone * remember to try and get time to yourself to do something other than baby stuff, even if it is only for 10 mines a day at first * a 20-minute walk away from my son was very good for my head, even in the dead of winter * it's scary bringing a newborn home, but you figure it out pretty quick once you've got them home! I think it is smart to be as prepared as possible though... * enjoy every. single. Moment * Take time to bond with you, Mike & the little guy before the world starts encroaching on you again * make sure Mike sets time aside for you to take a break a couple of nights a week - even if it's running to Buy Buy Baby or other quick random errands. You'll appreciate the break & time to just be a solo person * just enjoy it, especially those first few days. a newborn baby is pretty magical and special * enjoy it. Newborn days can be hard, but they are so special, & you'll never have just one baby at home again * Trust yourself. No book or advice from anyone else compares with a mother's instinct. You know your baby better than anyone else * don't get caught up in the comparing game. Every child is different and develops at his or her own pace. Unless there is a major disability, every baby ends up walking, talking, rolling over, sitting up, eating solid foods & getting hair! * enjoy it! Once you have him, sit at home in your pj's all day & let the house be a mess, don't make dinner & just enjoy holding him & doing absolutely nothing. You will not regret it! * make sure you get out at least once a week for an hour or two, get a mani/pedi, do some shopping, go on a walk. Don't neglect your "you" time. It will make you a better mother * take at least one picture everyday! * pump a lot & freeze your milk so you have it for a rainy day. You will have TONS in the beginning * take LOTS of photos * write your thoughts down. They will come & go so quickly & in your mommy-brain fog, it will be hard to remember anything beyond the bare necessities. It's amazing, God made it that way, so we are only able to focus on raising our little cubs. It has been scientifically proven that certain (non-essential) parts of a woman's brain shut down for a time & other parts ""awaken"" after having a baby. You truly are just in survival mode * let your baby teach you what he needs. Instead of over-thinking it, or trying to do it how someone else you know does it (or says you should do it), give your child what he needs * relax & enjoy it. Babies sense stress & tension. They, too, can become upset by those vibes and stressors... which, in turn, can create more stress for you and him * go with the flow, not forcing things to happen. Things will soon fall into a pattern & you can take it from there * keep Craigs List in mind for some of those things that are only used for a few months * realize that you are experiencing a huge life change. You will feel like you have run a marathon on days when you don't shower until 2 or 3 pm. Give yourself a year to feel "normal" again & able to get things done like you did pre-baby * no one told me that during labor (don't know if it applies with an epidural) that I might throw up during transitional labor – going into hard labor when you need to push * it's an amazing, wonderful, roller coaster ride being a Mom – enjoy the ride & be good to yourself * let hubby help as much as possible & realize that he is going through some mighty changes too. Be good to each other * trust your instinct & don't feel bad about it. Even if it's the opposite of what all the books tell you * do anything you have to in order to get your child to sleep in the first 3 months. You won't cause bad habits. You can start sleep training at 4 months, & things will be just fine! * if you have any TV shows / series or movies that you've always wanted to watch, prepare to get them once baby comes * take all the help you can get. Don't feel like you have to do it all when help is available just to prove to yourself you can do it. That will just lead to you being more tired when your help leaves * get out every day * lean on your friends * enjoy the first few newborn days - they are like gold-dust & go so fast * be prepared for the emotions after 3-4 days - they are tough!! But if you can tell yourself that it is part of the process, you will handle them well * ask for help if you need it * if your Mom comes, let her have your baby in the mornings so that you can sleep * try to get out of the house for a little bit each day with baby once you come home from hospital (depending on how your recovery is going) - it will give you confidence and also do you good * if you feel blue, speak to people you feel comfortable with, about it - your doctor / midwife, friends, RS President, Mom. Do not suffer alone * surround yourself with things that make you feel happy - a favorite movie or DVD so that any time you feel a little shaky or nervous, you have something that will take you out of yourself * be careful how much adherence you give to baby books - they can freak you out unnecessarily * read the conference issue of the May 2010 Ensign - there is so much in there for parents (see Elder Andersen and Sister Lant especially) * remember that Heavenly Father will be with you & He will be with your sweet baby - He does not give you this overwhelming new responsibility without His spirit SO present those first few days. That was such a comfort to me * don't let your baby suck on your nips or use you as a pacifier all night long when he won't sleep in the hospital. Keep in mind that they have been snuggled in your belly for nine months and that is their happy place. After you feed him, if he is fussy, just tuck his legs up & bundle that little boy as tight as he can handle & then have Mike bounce him off to sleep with his binky * keep everything really simple * have a regular night schedule. (for us: I fed & my husband changed & swaddled. Every night.) * enjoy every second of those first days, weeks, months – even though you are so tired you want to claw your eyes out. You don't get your first baby experience again, & it goes by so fast. * you'll be amazed how instantly you will connect & bond with your baby, & how intense & instant your love for them will be. There will be hard days, definitely tired days, but there will also be the best days ever. It's all worth it! * try to enjoy the little moments, because that's what it's all about!"